The Joy and Confusion of Love
by 4815162342Lost
Summary: Richard/OC and Ben/OC rated M for later chapters. hope you like. Disclaimer- None of the lost characters or places are mine. only Desarai is mine. it starts from Juliet's past. Please review as this is my first fanfic story!
1. Chapter 1 Meeting

The Confusion and Joy of Love

Chapter One Meeting

Desarai was unlike any woman Richard had ever seen. She looked stunning in a vibrant green summer dress with her gorgeous blonde hair pulled loosely into a ponytail. Like her sister, Juliet, she was extremely intelligent in her field of work. She and Juliet would make excellent editions to their research team. "Hello, I'm Richard Alpert and you must be Desarai and Juliet Burke." "Pleased to meet you we both greeted shaking his hand briefly. I glanced away as Richard's soft brown eyes met mine and sat down next to Juliet at the table. He was quite the handsome man in my opinion. "Mittelos Bioscience is located just out of Portland." He turned on a slide show and it showed different facilities and people doing various activities. "I know it looks cheeseball but our people really are that happy. We are privately funded and privately funded means freedom. Every week we organize different events in and around the Portland area which is just great for hiking and biking." "I was flattered when your company reached out to us but I don't understand why you want me." Juliet sputtered. "Is it true you successfully impregnated a male field mouse?"Richard asked. "It didn't carry to term." Juliet replied modestly. "We are confident in both your skills and intelligence. Can I show you two something? What do you see?" Juliet wandered over to the screen and I hung back a bit examining the slide closely. "Its a human womb obviously, and judging by the decomposition of the endometrium, I'd say she was seventy." Juliet responded. "Actually, she's 26." What happened to her?" I asked stunned. "What if I told you that you had complete freedom and money to find out? We think you two are special and we want you to lead a team of highly trained professionals because we think you're just that good." "I can't." Juliet stated frowning. "Why not?" "My ex-husband wouldn't let me have this." Juliet said hastily. "He doesn't want you to have this opportunity?" "He doesn't want me to have anything." "Maybe if there was a way that we could reach out him..." "If he were hit by a bus how about that. I'm sorry to have wasted your time Mr. Alpert. I'm not a leader; I'm a mess." With that she rushed out without a second glance. I was rooted to the spot because my legs were refusing to move. "I'll talk to her. She's just overwhelmed that's all. I'm still interested in working with you Mr. Alpert." "Please, it's Richard and I appreciate you considering us." "Great, well, I'd better be off. I'm sure we will be in touch again soon Richard." I smiled and Richard returned it muttering, "We shall." Richard held out his hand again and I grasped it gently. I raised my eyes to meet his and I knew that my cheeks were going red so I hurriedly released his hand and rushed out the door to find Juliet. I found her already in the car waiting. "Jules, are you going to be all right?" "My life is just such a mess and I don't know how I would hold up in Portland. Its so far away from Rachel and I'm not who they think I am." "It would be a good opportunity to get away from Ed for awhile. Richard seemed like such a nice guy. Richard really believes in us and I believe in you. I would hate to disappoint Richard and the rest of Mittelos Bioscience." Juliet faced me with a smirk playing at her lips. "What?" I blurted hoping that I wasn't blushing. "Do you have a thing for Richard?" "I like him that's all." "I'll call him tomorrow and tell him that we are going." "We'll see." Juliet replied and started up the car and we drove to Rachel's flat. When we arrived Rachel was sitting on the edge of the couch waiting. "How did it go?" She prodded. "It's Portland. It's to far." "Juliet wasn't sold." I answered. "You didn't say no because of me did you?" "Why would I want to go all the way to Portland for research that doesn't even work?" "Because it does work." I froze and both Juliet and I stared at Rachel in shock. "What do you mean?" Juliet broke the silence. "I'm pregnant." Rachel stated grinning madly. "Are you sure," I prodded feeling excitement rush through me. Rachel grabbed her pregnancy test and showed us. It was the best news we could have asked for. We celebrated that night and stayed up late into the night.

**LOST**

The next day Juliet burst in to the house sobbing hysterically. "Julie what's wrong?" "He's---dead." I didn't need to ask who but held my sister as she cried. After she had finally calmed down a bit she announced, "I ran into Richard. He gave me the paper work for us to fill out. Where's Rachel?" "Laying down." "I think I should go lay down as well." With that Juliet went into the guest room and closed the door behind her.

**LOST**

Over the next few days we met up with Richard several times to sign forms and discuss terms. Juliet and I made sure that we would be back in time for Rachel's delivery. A week later we stood in front of a large building. Rachel got out of the passenger side and hugged us goodbye. This would be the last time that we would be allowed to have contact with her for six whole months. "I'm going to be fine." Rachel assured us. "Of course you are." Juliet said hugging her tightly. With a final goodbye we climbed into a white van with Richard and Ethan, who also worked with Mittelos Bioscience. "I felt nervousness fill me as we arrived at the doors. Ehtan opened the door for us and Richard helped me out. "Thanks." I muttered as we entered and came into an area where Ethan motioned us to sit down. He took our vitals and Richard told us to drink some orange juice that obviously had some powdery substance poured into it that wasn't flavour. "What's in it?" I asked timidly taking the glass but not drinking it. "It's orange juice with a considerable amount of horse tranquillizer in it." "You want us to drink it?" Juliet replied bewildered. "You're going to want to. It can be a rough journey." "I was fine with signing all of your paper work. Fine with agreeing to not talk to anyone in my life for six months..." "Why were you fine with those things? That's a huge leap for a job opportunity." Juliet remained silent. "I think your fine because you know that the place were taking you to is special and you have special talent. You took your sister, whose system was ravaged from cancer, and you created life where it wasn't supposed to be. There are other women out there that need your help." Juliet turned to look at me and I nodded. We both downed our glasses and Ethan and Richard exchanged a glance. "You probably shouldn't have drunk that so fast." With that my vision blurred and I passed out. The last thing I remembered was Richard catching me before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2 Arrival

Ch2 Desarai

When I woke up I felt motion sickness grip my insides. I tried to sit up and found that I was strapped down. I yelped in surprise and struggled against the tight straps. Just then Juliet appeared and helped me out. "What happened?" I mumbled feeling dizzy and my head was pounding. "I don't know. Ethan let me go and I think we should climb out of this thing with the ladder." I nodded and followed her up the ladder at a slow pace. When I poked my head out my breath was taken away. There were mountains and the jungle stretched as far as the eye could see. I tried to stand but felt my stomach jolt so I sat down. "Hello, my name is Benjamin Linus and you must be Desarai and Juliet Burke." Benjamin reached out his hand Juliet climbed down onto a dock. "Are you okay?" He asked standing in front of me and fixing me with a steady gaze that made me squirm. I felt like he knew something about me. "I just feel light headed." I stated trying to sound reassuring. Ben gripped both of my arms and lowered me down. "Thanks." I mumbled and gazed around at my new surroundings. "It's beautiful. I think I could wake up to this every morning." A strange glimmer flickered in Ben's eyes but disappeared as quickly as it came. Noticing my unsteadiness Ben allowed me to hold onto his arm as he led Juliet and I down the dock and onto a path. Juliet and I made polite chatter with Ben as we walked and after a few minutes we arrived at a clearing. There were several mustard colour bungalows. "This is where you will be living." Ben stated as they wandered in between the houses. "Where's Richard....and Ethan?" I added quickly. "I am hosting you two a welcome dinner and dance and they will both be present." Ben turned a thoughtful expression towards Desarai and knew she was already hung up on Richard. Pity; he found her to be quite attractive. He led them to two houses that were side-by-side. "The one on the left is yours Juliet and the one on the right belongs to you Desarai." "A whole house? To myself?" Juilet asked in awe. "That's right. I know you like opera music so you have all the classics on CD. As for you Desarai, I know that you enjoy piano so we managed to provide you with one." "Thank you so much Benjamin!" I said happily. Juliet seemed slightly uncomfortable, "You shouldn't have gone through all that trouble." I smiled at my sister before she left to go get settled into her new home. Ben released my arm and turned to leave but I called out, "Do you want to come in?" Ben turned around and I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips. "If you want me to." "Well, come on then," I responded. I walked through the front door with Ben following. Dropping my things I wandered around the house looking at things and exclaiming in pleasure when I saw a whole library of books. "Can we explore the jungle? Is there a beach?" I asked curiously. "The jungle is dangerous so we don't encourage it but if you do you need to know that there is a security perimeter set up around this area and when you see some huge pylons don't go through them. As for a beach, there is one close by." I smiled slightly before asking, "So, where do you live?" "Right across from you." He answered. My smile grew and Ben observed, "You seem very happy to be here." "Why wouldn't I be? It's gorgeous and everyone so far has been very friendly." We wandered into the living room and I sat down on my new couch and Ben in an armchair across from me. "Answer me something Benjamin and I need to know the truth." "What is it Desarai?" "Were not in Portland, are we?" Ben didn't show any expression change so I continued, "I personally don't care as long as I get to see my sister in six months." "Of course." Ben glanced at his watch, "You should get ready. The dinner is in half and hour." "How formal is this event?" "Not overly." "Are you wearing that?" I questioned looking him up and down swiftly. He was wearing a striped button up shirt and tan pants. "Yes." He answered simply. "Okay, I'll be back in ten minutes tops." With that I left upstairs to where I had dropped a small bag of clothes. I jumped into the shower and quickly washed my hair. I felt fairly comfortable around Ben but I knew that there was a lot more to him then what met the eye. I climbed out of the shower and put on a backless ocean blue dress. I then made my way downstairs and saw that Ben was sitting in the same spot that I had left him. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw me and I blushed. "Do you think it's too much?" Ben shook his head and stood, "No, you look beautiful Desarai." "Thanks, I'm ready now so shall we be on our way?" "You would be extremely early," Ben notified me. "I'm sure we can find something to do in the meantime." I replied flirtatiously. He rested a gentle hand on my back and we left the house. As we headed out I saw Juliet also leaving her house and I called out, "Juliet, are you ready?" "Yes, I think so." Juliet replied walking beside me. I knew that I had been flirting with Ben but it was just harmless flirting. I couldn't wait to see Richard though. Ben gave us a small tour of his house and introduced us to Alex. Gradually more and more people arrived.

Richard knew that Desarai was attracted to him and he was taken away when he saw her enter the dining room. He saw her scan the room and her eyes stopped when they caught sight of him. A smile played at his lips, "Desarai, will you sit next to me?" "Of course." She gracefully sat down in the chair that he had pulled out for her and Richard found that he couldn't help but constantly talk to her. He loved hearing her laugh and he found himself captivated by her shimmering green eyes.

Ben looked over at us and frowned slightly to himself as Richard and I flirted with each other. I felt Ben's gaze and blushed. I began to eat the delicious food. Richard glanced up at Ben who caught his eye. Richard hid his scowl and also began to eat. Ben's eyes moved to Juliet who was talking to Goodwin and he also saw that they were getting along very well.

After dinner Juliet and I offered to help clean up but Ben insisted that we relax and enjoy ourselves. Music came on over the speakers and Goodwin asked Juliet for a dance. Danny and his wife Colleen were also dancing. Richard came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "Can I have the pleasure of this dance?" I turned to face him and entwined my fingers through his in response. He led me further through the crowd and he slid his other arm around my waist but kept a modest distance between our bodies. When the song ended Ben walked over to Richard and I and asked, "Could I get a dance in with you Desarai?" "Of course," I responded as Richard grudgingly released me. Ben encircled his arms around my body and drew me close to him. I looked into his stunning eyes and I could smell smell his cologne. I was now fighting the urge to become intoxicated and melt in his arms. His brilliant blue eyes were searching mine and I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. I caught sight of Richard over the crowd and saw him slink away alone towards the jungle. "Are you uncomfortable?" Ben asked returning my attention to him. "I have to say I haven't danced this close to a man since my ex-husband but I'm fine." Ben suddenly tensed up and I looked in the direction of his gaze where Alex and Karl were dancing together. After the song was up I released him and wandered away from the dance area convincing myself that my feeling with Ben were just because I was lost in the moment. I continued in the direction that I had seen Richard take off in and hesitantly entered the jungle. "Richard?" I called nervously. "Where are you?" "You followed me?" I whirled around and saw Richard leaning against a tree. "Yes, what are you doing out here?" "I'm not big on parties. I like the quiet of the jungle. You should have stayed though, it is your welcoming after all." "It's no fun without you though," I replied jokingly. Richard walked forward slowly and stopped just inches away from me. I stared into his comforting brown eyes and he leaned forward kissing me lightly. He broke away all to suddenly and I moved back towards him capturing his mouth again. I leaned back and smiled at him. Richard hugged my body against his and we stood in a close embrace for sometime. Eventually Richard spoke, "We should go back." He took my hand and we meandered back but when we came into the view of everyone else our hands dropped to our sides as neither of us was completely comfortable with publicizing our relationship just yet. I strode over to Juliet, who was talking to Ben, and Juliet prodded, "Where were you Desarai?" "I was just resting." Ben gave me a look that made me feel like he knew I was lying and I tried to keep my eyes from meeting Ben's prying stare so I engaged myself in a conversation with Alex about the island.


	3. Chapter 3 THe First Night

Desarai Chapter 3 The First Night

I headed over to Juliet's house after things had calmed down and we sat on the bed discussing what we thought about everyone. "So what's the deal with you and Richard?" "Nothing." "Which is code for something." She pressed. "After the first dance I saw him leave so after I had finished dancing with Benjamin I followed him." "And?" Juliet demanded grinning widely. "We kissed." "I said shrugging sheepishly. "It's probably nothing. I mean we've known each for only a week now." "True, but he seems like a really great guy." "I saw you dancing with Goodwin." Juliet's grin grew, "He seems to be quite the catch." "I love it here already." I announced happily. "It'll take getting used to but it seems to be worth staying for." We both fell silent and continued to think about our new life on the island. After a minute I cut into the quiet, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow at work." I hugged Juliet and left to my own house.

When I entered I had barely walked down the hall when there was a knock at my door. I opened it to reveal Richard. "Hey, can I come in?" "Sure." I replied moving to the side to let him in. Richard stood in the centre of my living room and faced me, "I'm going to be leaving for a few days from tomorrow." "Why? Where are you going?" "I'll be back before you know it." "That doesn't answer my questions," I countered stubbornly. "Ben doesn't want me to tell anyone the answers to the questions you have." "So is Benjamin in charge?" "In a sense." "All of this secrecy here. What are you all hiding?" "It's complicated Desarai." "Is this mission dangerous?" "I'll be fine." He reached for me and pulled me into a rough embrace and I surrendered to it. I didn't want him to leave and I tightened my grip around him. "Do you want anything?" Richard cupped my chin, "Only you for now." Richard pressed his lips against his lips against mine and I felt a rush of content flow through me. I broke away and lead him into the kitchen, "Do you know if there is any wine?" "There should be in the cupboard right there." He answered searching the other cupboards for some glasses. I poured us some wine and we went back into the living room. I sat down on the couch and Richard sat next to me. "Were not in Portland are we?" "We are situated outside of Portland." Richard answered carefully. "I'm worried about my sister back at home." "Rachel?" "Yes. I'm scared that her cancer will comeback while I'm here." Richard drew me closer so that my head was resting on his chest. "Rachel will be fine." I looked up into his eyes searching them for comfort. I bent forward and kissed him softly. I moved back slightly and placed my wine glass on the table and he followed suit. We sat there talking about life and after a few more hours I told Richard that he may as well sleep on the couch opposite.

**LOST**

Richard lay awake and wished that he didn't have to leave in a few hours time. Desarai was sound asleep when he saw the first rays of light shine through the windows and rest on her beautiful face. He had set out a lovely breakfast for her and left a brief note. He stooped down and kissed her lightly on the cheek before leaving her house. To Richard's complete surprise Ben was standing there waiting for him. "I knew I would find you here Richard." Ben said sounding almost annoyed. Richard didn't reply. "I want you to be careful though. As you recall her file showed that her husband cheated on her with her best friend. Although it unlikely that you would do anything of the sort I don't want Desarai hating it here." "I'm fully aware of this Ben." "Right, to business then." Richard had forgotten her vile ex-husband and he barely listened to Ben as he had already been briefed on his mission and he couldn't keep his mind off Desarai.

**LOST**

I shivered as I opened my eyes. Richard had already left and I growled in frustration. I stood up and stretched yawning loudly. I noticed a platter of fresh fruit and some still warm toast. There was a not beside it and it said that he would come back as soon as he could and that I shouldn't worry. I read it twice through before I placed it back on the table and reached for my breakfast. After showering I got dressed for my first day of research.


	4. Chapter 4 Work

Ch 4 Desarai- Work

There was a soft knock at my door and I hurried to answer it. Juliet was standing there and she impatiently demanded, "Come on Desarai, Ben is waiting." "I was just about to leave," I said as I pulled on my shoes. Juliet brought me over to where Ben was now talking to Goodwin and Ethan. To be honest I had no clue what we would be doing today. Ben gave a us a tour around the laboratory and Ethan explained the dilemma on the island with pregnant women. We learned that Ethan was a surgeon and Goodwin also had some medical experience. After the day was over Juliet and I headed back to our houses and I invited her over for dinner. Once the food was all prepared we sat down. "I'm worried about Rachel," I confessed. "Same." "She'll be fine." I said trying to convince myself. "We'll be back before she gives birth." "I can't wait; Rachel has wanted this forever. What do you think it will be?" "A boy," Juliet stated grinning. "Well, my moneys on a girl then." Rachel had always helped Juliet and I get along better because, since we worked together, we collided more. "Goodwin couldn't take his eyes off of you could he?" I teased. "Do you think I have a chance with him?" "Absolutely Juliet." We continued to talk and laughed about our stay so far and Juliet left at around midnight. I clamoured upstairs and remembered that the rest of my luggage was dropped off but I was too tired to go back downstairs so I climbed onto my bed in my work clothes and immediately fell asleep. The next few days passed uneventfully. I noticed that Ben seemed to have put up a cold front against me and I could see that he fancied Juliet no matter how hard he tried to hide it. I pitied him because Juliet and Goodwin were becoming increasingly more open with flirting and showing each other affection. With each day my thoughts drifted to Richard and I wondered if he was thinking about me and when he would be coming back to the village again. I didn't ask Ben because whenever Richard was brought into the conversation he would turn his blazing blue eyes on me making a chill run down my spine.

After five more days I was heading back from the lab and I saw Richard laving Ben's house. He caught sight of me and I stopped to wait for him to catch up. He smiled and said quietly, "Just got back, I was going to head over to your place when I finished talking to Ben." "Richard! Desarai, wait up," Juliet called form behind us. I turned around and waited for my sister. "Ben told me that we're going to have a badminton contest tomorrow." "Cool, but I'm terrible you know." "Well you're still going to try." Juliet replied grinning. "I'll get everyone to go easy on you." Richard teased. "Fine, but I'm hopeless at the game." "Badminton?" Goodwin asked appearing out of nowhere. "Hey, Juliet, I'd like to talk to you if you want to come around my place." "Sure, I'll catch up with you two later." When we arrived at my house I invited Richard in and as we wandered into the halls I looked at his muddy arms and messy hair. "You should take a shower. It's upstairs and down the hall." He headed up the stairs and out of sight without a word.

After ten minutes Richard came back downstairs and saw Desarai sitting at her piano playing a slow almost mournful tune. He sneaked up behind her and sat down on the bench beside her.

I stopped playing as soon as I noticed Richard and he took my hand and whispered, "Are you all right?" "Yes, I'm fine. I was just lost in a thought that's all." I replied staring at our inter-laced fingers. He reached out his other hand and gently turned my face towards his. My eyes were clouded with my past and I moved into his arms seeking comfort. Richard led me over to the couch and we sat together quietly. Finally I spoke, "I was married once before and it was love at first sight. Mere months later he proposed and I accepted. I was so in love and I trusted him but I was coming home from work one day earlier than I expected and I found him--- making love to my best friend. He had already met with a lawyer and was filing a divorce. After it was over he ran off with her and I never heard from either again." Tears were spilling down my cheeks and Richard looked straight into my eyes before replying, "You can trust me Desarai. I will always be true to you." I burst into more tears and kissed Richard. We sat there kissing for awhile before I broke away and he began to stroke my hair. "I can't wait to see you play badminton tomorrow." He said smirking. "Shut up. I'll kick your ass." I replied grinning. "I'll make you a deal, If you can beat anyone tomorrow then I will treat you to dinner and if you fail to do so it'll be be dinner at your place." "You're on." I challenged. There was a knock at the door that startled me and I jumped up and raced to the door curious of who it was. It was Juliet and she was grinning ear to ear. "What's up with you?" I asked slyly. "Goodwin kissed me!" "No way," I squealed in delight. "It was so romantic." "So, why did you leave?" "Are you telling me that you spent the first night you kissed Richard with him?" "Nothing happened. Do you want tom come in Richard's over?" "Yes, I'd like that." She responded and I opened the door wider admitting her into my house. Juliet entered the living room and sat down beside Richard, "How's your evening going?" "It just keeps getting better." I heard him answer flirtatiously making me immediately become annoyed. I sat there feeling left out of their conversation and I stared into Ben's window across the way. He was pacing back and forth and I wondered what he was thinking about. I saw him pause and his eyes rested upon me. I hurriedly looked away and announced that I was tired. "In that case, would you like to come over for a drink Richard?" "Sure, I'll see you tomorrow Desarai." He walked over and kissed me on the cheek before leaving with Juliet. I felt uneasy but she was my sister and I could trust her besides she was in love with Goodwin. I slowly wandered into my room and lay down on my bed thinking about the next day. My thoughts returned to Ben and I wished that he would warm up to me. I drifted to sleep still thinking about Ben and what a mysterious man he was.


	5. Chapter 5 The Tournament

Desarai Chapter 5 The Tournament

I woke up with Richard sitting on the bed watching me. "Did you sleep well?" He whispered brushing some hair away from my face. "Yes." I answered sleepily. "Are you ready to be defeated in badminton my sweet?" He asked grinning flirtatiously. "I don't think so Mr." I said standing up and stretching. "Just keep telling yourself that." He teased. "I'm going to go get ready at my house I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss today." "All right but prepare to be defeated." I replied playfully. He wandered over and kissed me before he left.

I rushed into the shower and started to go through my closet for something to wear. After I had finished I ran over to Juliet's and found her sitting in a mess of clothes still in her night gown. "Julie, what are you doing? We have to go." "I don't know what to wear." "Let me help you." I wandered over to her closet and searched it. I easily found a cute pair of shorts and a tank. "How about this Juliet?" "Why didn't I see that?" She said taking them from my hands. "Because you were too worried about what Goodwin would think of you," I answered knowingly. "Thanks Desarai." "I'll wait outside." "Okay, I won't be long." I closed the door behind me and a minute later Juliet appeared. "Perfect." I commented as we headed down the stairs and out the door. "Try not to make too much of a fool of yourself Desarai." She said giggling. "Badminton is not my strength." I replied smiling back at her. As we walked I saw Ben ahead of us. He caught sight of us and waited. "This is a great idea Ben," Juliet said excitedly. "I'm glad you think so." He said smiling at her. "Jules!" Goodwin called running over. "Hey," Juliet greeted as he took her hand and they walked ahead of us talking and laughing. I turned to look at Ben and saw that his eyes were burning a hole into Goodwin's back. "So how have you been?" I asked causing him to look at me. His gaze lingered a moment and then he turned away continuing to stare ahead without answering. "Why won't you talk to me?" I nearly yelled. Ben glared at me and before he could speak Richard ran up behind me and swept me into his arms. I let out a fit of laughter and yelled for him to put me down. When we arrived at the court Danny challenged Ethan first and I stood with Richard and watched. He had his hands resting lightly on my waist and my anger with Ben disappeared to the back of my mind. Ethan won and I could see Danny had a murderous look plastered on his face. Juliet and Goodwin started to play next and they flirted throughout the entire match but Juliet won. Alex, as I found out was Ben's daughter, versed me next. I walked nervously onto the court but I was prepared to give it my best. Alex defeated me with ease and I headed off the court. "You didn't say you were that bad Desarai." Richard teased reaching a hand out to grab me. I slapped his hand away playfully, "I was warming up." "Sure." "I was." "Whatever Desarai." I foled my arms in front of me and glared at him. He smirked and reached for me again and this time I surrendered to him and leaned closer against his body. I watched as Ben walked over to Goodwin and asked him for a match. As I figured he won but Juliet did not seem unchanged, in fact she kissed Goodwin in front of everyone and I could imagine what Ben must be thinking. Next Colleen battled Richard and I stood with Juliet and Goodwin. He creamed Colleen and smirked as he strutted over to us. "Shut up." was all I said. His grin grew as he stood between us. Several more matches went on and whenever I played, no matter how easy they tried to be on me, I always lost. Richard ended up tying the tournament with Juliet and stood back exhausted from playing. "I'm going to go clean up. I'll be over in an hour or so if that's play with you," Richard said when he came to my side. "All right. I'll see you then." I headed back to my house and prepared a simple but tasty dinner. After I hurried upstairs and jumped in the shower. Just as I had wrapped myself in a towel the door bell rang. Frantically, I rushed to go get it. Richard stood there with a beautiful flower in his hand. I let him in and his eyes raked my body. "Are you going to wear that to dinner?" He asked with a hint of hope in his voice. "Unfortunately for you, no." "Too bad," He replied flirtatiously. "You sir, are awful." I responded grinning. "What can I say? You're the one who greeted me in a towel." "I just got out of the shower." "I noticed." "I'll be back in a minute." I replied as I quickly kissed him on the cheek and hurried upstairs. I tore through my closet until I found my gorgeous little black dress. I had a huge thing for dresses ever since I was a little girl; I had one in almost every colour. I quickly, but carefully, put on some make-up and slipped down stairs. I crept up behind Richard and whispered, "Let's eat." He turned around and raised his eyebrows, "Wow, nice dress." "Thanks." I answered.

After the food was done Richard sat next to me on the couch. "What a relief that your cooking is better than your badminton skills." He joked as he placed a gentle hand on my knee and leaned forward kissing me on the forehead. "I reached my hand up to his cheek and kissed him on he lips in return. He then leaned over me and explored my mouth with his tongue as his hand slowly moved up my leg and rested just under the end of my dress. I reached my hands up to his collar and pulled him closer still. Richard pressed his body closer and his arms were now around my waist. After a few more minutes he whispered, "I should get going love." We slowly untangled and Richard turned to face me. "Why don't you come to my place for a drink tomorrow?" "Okay. Richard, there's something I want to tell you." "What is it Desarai?" He questioned seriously noting my sudden stiffness. "I'll talk to you about it tomorrow night. It's complicated." He kissed me genlty and wondered what it could be. After he bade me good night and left.


	6. Chapter 6 Truth and Worries

Chapter Six Truth and Worries

"Desarai? Desarai?" "Huh?" "You're distracted today. What's wrong?" Juliet questioned worriedly. "It's, well..." "Talk to me." "I'm worried that Richard may not be the one." "How so?" "What if he doesn't accept the fact that I.." "He's nothing like that monster ex-husband of yours." I smiled weakly and turned my back on Juliet. She seemed to have taken the hint that I wanted to be alone and let me be. I was still worried but hoped that she was right.

After what seemed like the longest day of my life I walked over to the house that Richard had told me was his. I hesitated before knocking and waited in silence for him to answer. A moment later he opened the door and smiled joyfully, "Come in." Richard closed the door behind me and I wandered into his house, which was neat and orderly. I turned to face him and he took me in his arms but I moved away and said quietly, "The reason my husband cheated on me was because when we went to a fertility doctor they told me that--" I halted and looked at my feet. "They told me that I had scar tissue blocking my fallopian tubes and that I was unable to ever get pregnant. Keith was so angry and yelled that I had purposely kept this from him but I swore I never knew. He refused to talk to me for days. The doctor told me that surgery would be hopeless." I continued to stare down at the floor as I waited for Richard to speak. He placed a hand under my chin and raised my head so he could see my eyes. "I love you Desarai, I told you that I would be true to you." He captured me in a kiss before hugging me comfortingly. I smiled in relief and whispered, "I love you too." "Here, come have a glass of wine." He motioned towards his living room and I followed him there.

Sitting down side-by-side we sipped the delicious wine. "Thank you." "For what?" "Understanding." "You had me when you walked into that interview with your gorgeous green dress that matches your eyes so well." I grinned and replied, "I thought you were so handsome." He took my hand and brought me closer to his side. We sat together silently content with each other's company. "I have to go away again Desarai." "For how long?" "I should be back in a week." "A week?" I sputtered nearly choking. "I'm afraid so." "I don't want you to go." "I don't want to leave you either but I have some business to deal with." I frowned and gripped his hand tighter, "I hate it when you leave." "I'll make it up to you, I promise." "Good, because you'll owe me big time." He laughed and moved some of my hair behind my ear.

At midnight, Richard walked me home and moved to kiss me at my door step but I caught sight of Ben standing at his window. Richard didn't notice but I felt unexplainable guilt as I let him kiss me. "Goodnight." He said leaving. I just nodded and as he disappeared into the night. Ben was out of sight again and I took a deep breath before running over to Juliet's where I found her sitting in her bed reading.

"Desarai, how did it go with Richard?" she asked excitedly. 'He was fine." "What's wrong, you don't seem happy?" "Nothing, how are things with Goodwin?" "He's so romantic! I've been seeing him nearly everyday now." Juliet gushed. "Richard has to go away again," I said frowning. "How come?" "He said business but who knows." "They all seem to be hiding something don't they?" Juliet mused. "On our first day I asked Ben where we were but he evaded me question so I asked Richard and he just said that we were outside of Portland." "Well, as long as I get to see Rachel give birth I'm content." I nodded, "I'd better get home. It's getting late." "See you tomorrow." "Night." I replied before leaving to go home. On the way back I found my eyes were betraying me and kept searching Ben's window to see if he was there but there was no sign of him.


	7. Chapter 7 A Whole Mix of Emotions

Chapter 7 A Whole Mix of Emotions

My house seemed so empty without Richard coming to see me so I had people over nearly everyday to keep me company. I decided to try my luck with Ben and invite him and Alex over one night for dinner. I walked to his house slowly, not really hopeful he'd agree because, for some reason I didn't understand, Ben didn't like me.

Knocking quietly, I was already second guessing my decision. Ben opened the door with an expressionless face, "Yes?" he asked rather impatiently. "I was just wondering if, you know, you and Alex could come for dinner?" I looked up at Ben and saw him think it over, "When?" "Is tonight good?" "Alex is out all tonight but I will come." "Really?" I asked shocked. "Is six all right for you?" I said still surprised. "I'll be there." Ben replied. "Well, bye then." I awkwardly finished. Trying not to look like I was hurrying away I couldn't believe how stupid I had acted. Honestly, he didn't hate me.

Ben watched her rush off and when she went into her house he finally closed his door. She was so terrified to talk to him and he almost....felt guilty. With Richard gone though he could win her over.

When it was five to six Ben headed out the door. He had put on a striped shirt and some slightly formal pants. As soon as he knocked Desarai opened the door wearing a sexy black dress. _Damn. _The thought crossed his mind that he could have her tonight but of course her infatuation with Richard was in the way. Although her dress choice begged him to take her.

She ushered him inside and into the dining room where a delicious-looking meal was all ready laid out. "I didn't know what you liked," she whispered apologetically. "It looks wonderful." He assured her. Smiling, Desarai looked at him oddly as if though amazed that he would say so. Ben pulled out a chair for her and she sat down with the same strange look on her face. By the time they had started eating Ben had managed to break the ice and they found themselves talking non-stop.

"Thank you," He commented once the meal was over. "I'm just glad you could come Benjamin." He insisted on helping her clean-up and they as she was placing a plate in the dishwasher his hand brushed hers and she just about dropped it. Blushing, Desarai turned away from him and busied herself in washing the counters. Why am I acting like this? She thought foolishly. I am in love woth Richard and yet a part of me was happy to be just with Ben.

After the cleaning was finished we sat in the living room and she found herself so at ease with this man it left her dumbfounded that they hadn't connected earlier. We talked until a comfortable silence had set in and I glanced at the clock and gaped. "It's three." "Serious? It can't be." Ben responded equally amazed at how fast time seemed to be moving.

Exhaustion was setting in and Ben began to stand but Desarai grabbed his hand. "I want you to stay, unless you have to go." He sat back down and touched the side of her face gently, "That would be nice." "I'll grab some blankets." She stood and headed upstairs knowing full well that if he touched her again like that she would give in to him. She dragged two quilts down the stairs and threw one to Ben as she re-entered the living room. "Night Benjamin." Desarai whispered turning off the light. She laid down on the couch across from him and fell asleep almost immediately. "Good night Desarai." HE whispered to the darkness.

Ben laid there thinking for a while longer. He really cared about the woman across from him but he would have to get rid of Richard for good. Ben turned his head to look at Desarai once more. Was she worth losing a valuable ally? Hell yes. He drifted into a content sleep that soon she would be his.


End file.
